Noise in the Shape of Writing

People who re-map the default keys in their files so that the KEYS ON THEIR NUMERIC KEYPAD do special commands NEED TO BE SHOT! I will shoot them if that's what it takes!

Nothing like typing in a number like 2134 only to find out that you've just done "CHANGE FONT STYLE" four times in four different directions. Aaarghhh!!!!

Why do they even let the re-map keys preferences get embedded within the file!?

Okay, like maybe ONE of you reading this might feel my Quark pain.

Robert Burns is not just the only deceased Scottish poet of any note, he is also a great excuse to drink to excess! Of course, I don't bring my own yard-length glass to fill at the bar (like some!). I do, however, bring my own hollow legs, but I fear I am being outdone these days by some of my compatriots (you know who you are).

Last night was also the first time I've ever eaten a plate of meat literally swimming in blood. That's right, my first medium-rare order ever! (well, there may have been one last year, but they cooked it medium so it don't count) Let me tell you, it was amazing. But it takes beer. Approximately 2 pints per deviation from Well-done (which is how I ordered every steak from age 12 through college).

Here is the formula for HWPLHMD
(How Would Pat Like His Meat Done)

Using the HWPLHMD scale:
6=charcoal
5=well done
4=med well
3=med
2=med rare
1=rare
0=still mooing

HWPLHMD=4-P/2

where P=Number of pints of Guinness I've drunk by the time the Waitress takes the orders. So I guess "charcoal" is still theoretically possible if anyone ever invents negative beer.

Sometimes I walk past things in my house, or anywhere really, and they remind me briefly of Cerebus the comic book.

There's a sterling pitcher in our living room that reminds me of that issue with the silver service tray on the cover. There's Tanya's little rubber ball that reminds me of the time Fred and Rick played bouncy ball games in the attic. Fluffy shawls remind me of Jaka's outfit from the "returning the sword" issue.

Cerebus is like a cantankerous old deceased grandfather who you never agreed with on day to day issues, but who you really, really miss now that he's gone.

I think I will download some Cerebus wallpaper for my desktop and dedicate all the meat and beer I consume this week to the smelly-when-wet gray-haired one.

I was bemoaning the fact that I had an hour to kill for lunch and nothing productive to do since I had already eaten. Often, that's an excuse to blog, but I had no beefs or topics on my mind, so I instead went to GoogleNews for writing inspiration.

My Explorer favorites toolbar was missing.

That made me mad.

Mad makes me want to write, but then I found my GoogleNews link, so I poked it to life.

There were stories about a 7 year old girl being beaten to death and a 11-year old girl being beaten into a coma.

That made me super mad and it also made me want to blog. My solution, since I cannot help out by prosecuting these imbeciles from the Northeast (which is apparently a cesspool of child beaters these days), is to instead skip lunch and go home early so that I can spend more time with my own daughter -- who I CAN help.

Maybe braining some zombies in Silent Hill 1 with Tanya's help will cool me off. She loves that game and makes sure to finish her homework in a timely manner so that she can play it with me. See? Who says violent video games are all bad!

Many thanks to Mike, who, through tireless effort, painstakingly organized the logistical nightmare of setting up a Rose Bowl flea market run (he blushes and shrugs it off as nothing, but we all know he moved heaven and earth), I am now the proud owner of a tree skirt and/or satin mandillion.

I say it's a satin mandillion. Eleanor, who know more about all things garmenty and went home with many pretty and painted things, disagrees. So does Tanya, who took the swap meet opportunity to redecorate her room with glitter bead curtain and add an entire Japanese outfit to her wardrobe.

I also now own a second copy of Dune, the boargdame, which is cool, cause I can bequeath it to someone worthy of one of the coolest boardgames ever designed. It has the complexity of History of the World without being quite as military, yet it retains the quirkiness of Cosmic Encounters through it's numerous levels of flares and added powers.

I'd call it a successful day.

Sure, I turned down a laundry basket full of Dragon magazines, but they went to a good home (Mike's).

And no one with an ounce of decency can look me in my (painfully) sunburned and underhydrated visage after today's toils and tell me that's a tree skirt!

Even if it closes into a complete and un-madillion-like circle and has an opening too small for any human neck but just right for a christmas sapling.

Vampires want darkness
Monsters want souls,
Spiders want corners
But you want it all.

I want you to enjoy the poetry of Jonathan Donahue and I want you to enjoy the music of Mercury Rev. It is my little gift to you.

http://www.mercuryrev.com/vibration/vibration.htm

Their new album is a godsend. It helps if you like alternative, Beatles-ey, XTC-kitschy, Jesus and Mary Chain-gloomy music.

Start off with track #3, "Across Yer Ocean". It's a perfect example of their style.

If you like that, move on to their more happy fare like "In a Funny Way" or the even lighter "Sudden Ray of Hope" from their 1995 album See You on the Other Side.

If that appeals to you, dive into their quirky side with "Diamonds" or "Racing the Tide"

Me, I simply love their wistful-becomes-majestic anthems along the lines of "Diamonds", "Tides of the Moon", "Opus 40" from the Deserter's Songs album, or my favorite track from the new album, "Black Forest"

Actually, my favorite Rev track of all time is not offered on the site. It's "Nite and Fog" and it is to die for (from the All Is Dream album).

Their first couple albums are a different bird. More noisey, off-the-cuff stuff. Oddball, but endearing cause I first got an earful of it back in my Dewdrops days.

Oh, just try it all. So nice of them to put so much of it online!

From me to you.

TO review the year in film, I will take the heavy handed approach of summing up the whole slate using three movies:

The year was entirely too "40 Year Old Virgin". It was potty mouthed and sophomoric (to be fair, I was watching the "unrated" version of the movie).

It was also unfortunately very "Brothers Grimm". A sad preponderance of its films went nowhere and served to do little more than confuse the viewer for two hours.

And perhaps worst of all, the year was entirely "King Kong". Too much hype and not enough delivery. I bought in, showed up and was the exact opposite of blown away. I felt a sucking sound where Hollywood used to be.

Next year does not bode any better. I hae seen previews of remakes to come and much much hoopla announcing how things will be better when we remember how great things used to be. Sadly, Hollywood is commenting on its own petering out when it makes such rehashes.

I'll say more at some other point, but for now I cannot point to more than a few movies that were truly superlative... Crash, Harry Potter 4, Squid and the Whale, The Sea Inside (though I really consider that a 2004 film).

Never thought I'd see the day I'd be hatin on Peter Jackson.