Noise in the Shape of Writing

After getting all googly oogly about the merits of face cream a few months ago, I took Colleen's recommendation that I get a pedicure. I probably would have never gotten around to it if I hadn't spent all MaxiCon weekend on my feet and shoeless.

Oh, did my patooteries hurt!
(reality check -- doesn't everyone call them patooteries?)

So after three days of aching and itching, I decided that my pain could be someone else's gain! Why not an overpriced pedicure!

Wll, as it turns out, pedicures are not overpriced. In fact, if you factor in my centimeter-thick callouses and man-preened toenails, thinking back I feel the girl deserved combat pay for the grinding work she performed on my patooteries.

When she looked at my heels I could hear her working up the willpower to NOT offer the $10 callous removal. I am quite sure that this is usually an easy $10 and I know she knew it was NOT going to be easy.

So, did it feel good? Here's a checklist in the order it happened...

The foot bath -- YES, NICE!!
The cuticle scrape -- ouch, but yes.
The hangnail pluck -- painless and comforting.
The pumice scrub -- unbelievably tickly.
The callous disintegration toxin -- stingy, no thanks!
The callous grind-down -- almost fell out of my chair, a melange of pain & tickling.
The super, plasma-heated towel-wrap from nowhere -- ow! it's like a pain ambush.
The warm-down massage -- ok, that was worth it all right there.

So, $18 for pedicure plus $10 extra for callous excavation?
CHEAP CHEAP! How do these people make money?

I gave her $10 tip, but now I feel like she should have gotten $15 or more.
She's probably scarred for life.