Noise in the Shape of Writing

Went back to Mt. High today.
Now, allla you being hip southlanders (or ex-southlanders), you would clearly all get the joke if I were to say "Mt. High was awesome! There was primo powder and the runs were excellent!"

Yeah. I thought so. Even for the month of April, those "runs", if you can call them that, were basically crevasses of deadly, ski-swallowing slushy ice. But, heck, if you're there with your daughter on an all-day pass, that's magically converted to 8 hours of pure bliss.

We did every beginner run and were at the threshold of doing an intermediate (on her first full say of skiing -- following last month's 4 hour beginner ski class) when we decided the sun and lines had gotten the best of us. Even after 2 heaping helpings of sun screen, the sun's penetrating and reflective power had the best of our faces and it was time to go.

I have always considered the 5 minutes of quiet time spent going up a ski lift to be one of the most transcendent moments on earth. It is even more so when spent with your daughter. Of course, talking was fun too -- and the stretches of resting were liberally punctuated with witticisms about skiers, snowboarders, and what the best choice of run combinations and moguls would be -- yet still the silences were golden.

Next time, blue squares only!
And more sunscreen.

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Back to the subject of writing techniques I deplore...
I want to air a long-standing gripe: I hate dreams!
Specifically, I hate when protagonists have dreams in books!
Drives me nuts!

We are not there to feel this dream.
We do not know if this dream contains portents (usually it does not).
This dream will not forward the story.
This dream is only interesting to the protagonist.
You cannot make this dream sequence interesting to the reader.
It is impossible because we are not in his head.
We should not be in his head except to see what he experiences and to occasionally to get a taste of his emotions regarding a subject -- emotions which need to be substantiated with actions and effects!
Dream sequences are mental circle jerks!
They accomplish nothing that a good piece of dialogue and reaction dialogue cannot more aptly portray.
I am talking to you, Jay Kay Rowwling!*
(And to many others)

Aaargh!
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*yes, I am trying to evade the blog bots' search routines