Noise in the Shape of Writing

There are David Banner-looking Ukranian women in swimsuits doing the 400-meter IM on my TV.

The perfect backdrop for my "Open Water" review. (no spoilers, don't worry)

A week or so ago (at a showing of "Collateral" I think), I saw a trailer for "Open Water" and I swore I would never see that movie. It's one of my worst fears. Which is odd since I was once a lifeguard. I swam off the coast of Catalina Island once and looked down into some freakishly deep kelp beds and haven't swum out past the breakwaters since.

So, completely breaking my own word, I found myself in Hollywood with 2 hours to kill and 11 bucks to waste at the Arclight. The ONLY movie playing within my timeframe was "Open Water".

I knew I would have spent more than $11 at Ameoba Records, so I opted for the movie.

It's pretty amateurish at the beginning. Camera lingering on pointless moments in the setup scenes while protagonists don't talk or even emote. Pointless, dialogue-less, hackneyed and dry relationship stuff. Fresh faces, though. But here I would have preferred a better use of music to stir my "involvement" in the characters' lives. Later, the soundtrack actually helps (a sort of Calypso top 40 thingy), as it backpedals from the deep water horror just enough to get us relaxed.

Also, the sound editing itself seemed like it was phoned in from further away than the actors' performances were.

NO semblance of plot direction seemed imminent for 20 minutes.

Then they got into the water.

I hate sharks. But I didn't expect them to scare me. After all, there were a couple of toddlers sitting in front of me (rant regarding parents who take kids to R rated movies saved for another day). Their presence definitely took the edge off the horror touches.

So what DID scare me? Everytime stuff happened BELOW the water. How simple is that, huh? The standard "scarrier if unseen" adage.

I won't elaborate what was under the water. It wasn't always sharks. It was pretty scary. Surprising how they could use little elements to make big scares.

Still, I disliked the cheapness of it all. Simple medium shots of the 2 in the water. And... pretty much nothing else. That kept the budget pretty cheap, I bet.

Also, I was hoping for more interplay between the two. Instead, they cut away to the hotel (the rescue efforts!) every time the characters started getting on each others' nerves or started into some nicely thoughtful dialogue.

And the ending was too quick and a little gimmicky.

Eh. Mayhap we can discuss it in the comments area (WITH spoilers).

Still, I refuse to get in my pool after dark this week. Maybe next week too.