Noise in the Shape of Writing

I was at the 13th annual Anime Expo this weekend. It is the local, highly popular Japanese animation convention that is put on at the Anaheim convention center every Fourth of July weekend.

Many people half my age were in attendance. Most of them were wearing costumes. A good number of people a third my age were there, too. They were talking on cell phones, buying things that I did not recognize and talking about shows I have never heard of.

I sit in the back row of the video rooms and try to keep abreast of the hundred or so new TV shows and films that debut each year. And I bring my daughter so as to blend in.

Twelve years ago when I was just getting into the anime scene I knew everything about it. Of course at the time it consisted of some dozen shows, so it was easy.

Then came Cartoon Network. Adult Swim. The Disney Channel.

Now I can hardly tell my magical girl transformation mecha-action series from my high school girl mecha-magical adventure romance OAV.

And don't even ask what an OAV is. Most people don't know. It is something that strange little men in Japan make up while they are stumbling back from the sake bars to their coffin-sized, hi-tech homes.

Yesterday I saw a perverted school teacher's pathetic attempts to watch junior high girls change into their swimsuits. That was a show. Japan has very strange ideas of what ought to be animated and broadcast.

I also watched a 250-pound man wearing a plastic yellow bikini belt out the Star Spangled Banner at the top of his lungs. That one was, unfortunately, real life. I am scarred for life.

Then I saw a transvestite, a bum and a homocidal lunatic rescue a baby and win a million dollars. That was another show, but really, I was in Anaheim, so that one could have gone either way.

Japanese animation is pretty cool. And when you think you have experienced it all, try dressing up in one of those costumes and getting your picture taken every three steps. But wear sunglasses and don't have a badge around your neck with your real name on it.

These people have websites and they think you are funny if you know what a "Speed Racer" is when they don't.

They will make you famous on their wesites.

Some of them wear little plastic yellow bikinis and they are really hot girls, though. So it kind of evens out. But, if you see me on any websites, let me know.