Noise in the Shape of Writing

Boy, if I needed a poignantly inappropriate use of marketing synergy to convince me I didn't need to see "Van Helsing," that Carl's Junior hamburger ad was just the thing. Did it assuage my gorge reflex somewhat knowing that there was no super-size plastic soda cup with Hugh Jackman's hair-face emblazoned on it? Ok, yeah. A bit. But I think Universal Pictures would benefit from the none-too-small small fact that they almost had my ten dollars. Would it help for them to know that, were it Scarlett Johanssen instead of Kate Beckinsale in that trailer, I wouldn't give a whit how many damn happy meals they sold to get kids into those theaters, gosh dammit, I would be so there!!? Yeah, probably.
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Speaking of tasty synergy... people should know more about the improv team of Mike Nichols and Elaine May. In the 50s and 60s — back before he made "The Graduate" and she made "Ishtar" — this everycouple duo was blazing the way in the field of improv. They pioneered the field, and then left it to make movies. It's like L. Ron Hubbard, but with fewer aliens. Plus they didn't have to die. Their bare-bones delivery (especially on "A Little More Gauze") and lightning-fast improvised dialogue (such as on my personal favorite, "Mysterioso") began a nationwide interest in improv that paved the way for places such as Second City and the ImprovOlympic. Precious little is available online for free, but I found cheap vynil at Amoeba ($2 each for all 3 of their albums!). Do yourself a favor and check them out. Also in the doing yourself a favor category: avoiding "Ishtar."

Today I trained my replacement. The replecement for the position that the boss said was not being replaced. He replaces my Monday and Wednesday projects. His buddy is taking over my Tuesday and Thursday duties. And someone else is already in charge of my Friday tasks. It's like George Washington's axe... it's the same axe, but all the parts have been replaced.
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I actually bumped into a guy in the elevator who I have spoken to like once in the past year and he said, "Hey, congratulations! Where's this new job you found?" Funny how facts become rumors become suppositions become blithely repeated platitudes. I should just start my own rumor. Like: "Hey, Pat plays a mean mouth harp!" Y'know... start small.
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Okay. Who wants to skip forward to 5 weeks from now when Pat isn't so bitter! Wait. Five weeks from now I will be knee deep in gamers. I should start cleaning.

Man. Nothing beats seeing your own work performed on stage. Especially when it gets a good reaction. Tonight I saw my parody of "The Rain in Spain" (from My Fair Lady), starring several friends of mine. That part's pretty cool, too. "The blame for Spain falls mainly on Hussein." Yeah. Cheap but effective.

It also rocks going at the top of the running order. Reminds me of when I used to be on a high school swim team (please, no imagining me in Speedos!). In the team relay event, I didn't mind swimming the backstroke leg precisely cause it meant I got my part out of the way first. If we lost the race people tended to remember the last couple swimmers most of all.

Hey, that would be a cool comedy event... four sketches by four people. With the overall score based on the audience reaction. Each "team" could even have a different topic. That way you could perform all 4 in one evening and compare them. Speedos optional.

Was it the fact that I JUST started my first blog yesterday? Was it the fact that Phil was the first to post a comment? Was it a byproduct of the economic fluctuations resulting from President Bush's unfounded war against Saddam for the sole purpose of strategically positioning the U.S. into the Middle East oil pipeline once again?

Perhaps all three. Phil can be a powerful man.

Whatever the cause... I was fired from Nielsen today.

Anyone need a Graphic Artist / Webmaster?

Beginning a blog is kinda creepy. It's like standing outside your first shop and wondering if customers will be pouring in any minute. Of course it helps if you choose a blog service with commenting, but I am working on that. In my imagination, it is a little cheese shop and I am purveying brie and raclette. The nutty stink of cheese wafts out onto the street slowly. One email posting at a time. Soon, many are attracted to the smell. I open the doors. People peek in side. There is nothing in there yet. People are afraid to be the first to enter. French cheese? British? Smelly? Runny? Please! Enter and taste. Also, you may want to replace "cheese" with "gaming, comedy and beer" when you actually envision my little shop. Er, blog.

Last night, I graduated from Level One Improv at the ImprovOlympic West. I feel no more funny than I did 8 weeks ago. But it's worth mentioning that now there are 20 or so actor-types out there who all feel like I am part of their team. Albeit a team that will have to go on without me. (Sorry, acting. My true love is still writing.)